Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday; my first week back to school all began and ended with no lasting memories made in between. It has been, by far, the gloomiest week of my college life. I can't help but ask: Is there something wrong with me? Am I unhappy primarily because I don't want to be here? The questions go on and on.
Every waking moment of the past week seemed very difficult to face. Have you ever woken up just to find yourself looking for something to keep you going? Well, I have. It sure wasn't fun. Unenthusiastic, unmotivated, and undetermined. Those three words accompanied me on my first week of school. Sure, my first week certainly has no significant impact on the course of my life but I guess.. what I can do now is to continue being hopeful; hopeful for a brighter day. I know exactly what I need: motivation, determination, and focus. But where do I find motivation? What can push me to be determined? How can I focus and detract myself from my own disturbing thoughts of despair? I am fairly certain that I cannot answer these questions overnight. Maybe I just have to keep on going and maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the middle I'll find the answers. But for now, as days go by and fades into nights, I will continue being hopeful.
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